I just wish he would find someone else and relieve me of this misery. “Love is patient, love is kind…” Do you know that Bible verse? He treats us so bad. I’ve done everything possible to fix things, I’ve expressed my feelings to him, ect… yet there is no change. I am in love with a man since past 10 months who who is getting separated from his wife. I have nothing to say other than this is so sad that I even googled “how to leave the man you love”. So I can talk to them for support and advice? I guess the difficulty of my decision stems from the fact that he’s a good person, he adores me, he’s a great father, he’s so close to his(our) daughter, he loves her dearly. Because I fell in love with him. Expressing thereselves .. Please help me. Just in the last few months I have been suffering from bad anxiety and panic attacks. Who are you, what do you want from yourself, from a relationship, from life? I met him when we were both going through divorces, he is a much younger guy. The label had him traveling constantly and, once we got married, the label refused to pay my husband enough to support me. Going out of the state and telling me he was in town while I’m home taking care of the kids. Leila, GET MORE FUN & INSPIRING IMAGES & VIDEOS. Amanda, I’m not sure if it was my post or Bree’s, but in short, changes, none, HE has changed none, I still continue to be the SOLE provider for our family, this past weekend he bought himself a new (I say new, it’s a used truck with 50K miles, something I’ll never own, even in my dreams) vehicle, knowing mine is on the brink of dying. I’m so desperate I’ve thought about relocating to get away! I was hoping that the good would last and grow, but instead it cycles. So I went got a dollar tree test and it was positive. I want to feel alive again. We have no children but most of the time we are in a parent child relationship as I am always left to feel like the “head” of household which is against my traditional Christian home should be ran. I don’t like being gifted flowers or jewelry. It would be lucky if we would do it three times in a year. But they rarely talk she calls his phone to reach me from time to time they talk. May you seek the wise counsel of others, and strive to make the decision that isn’t the easiest one….but is the best one for you and your family. I also pray you find in-person supports and resources to help you move forward with confidence and hope! I love him but I’m craving that attention and affection from him. I am helped and I am blessed by your writing, but I still have a little work to do. I feel like he sees me more as a mother than a partner due to his mother, well , he’s got parent issues. Where is your family. We have 4 kids age 2-7 very young. I became pregnant with our daughter in June of 2014, and I was still using heroin. We have ZERO in common. He hasn’t done any of that. He flirted with my friends, controlled who I talked to, where I went. Just think about my mom….She loved that man. My husband is currently deployed 3 months on his deployment he emotionally shut down on me.. no ilove yous no i miss yous and just really impersonal emails… the rare chance he would skype – he would just catalog all my faults.. really negative about everything.. he said nothing is fixable.. I hope you will listen. His answer”go do it then’. this sounds so much like my situtation!!!!!! No more ideal threats. You may have invested years and sex and money in this relationship with this man, but that doesn’t mean you have to stay where you are! Proud of our unique relationship. You would be a temporary rebound, and as someone mentioned – this man will always be in her life and very involved. I wanted him to stop hurting me. My boys are ok with it, we’v discussed it in private and they are keeping it amongst us 3 and no one else. You may live longer than me and I am healthy and in decent shape but you have to find peace before you leave this earth. These reasons women feel trapped in bad or unhappy relationships will help you see yourself – and your partner – in a different light. I would love him to kiss me or hug me. She cared for me when I was sick, Everytime. Any advice for ridding myself of this guilt? Whenever we talk about it he promises to do something about it, to act on it, but a week, a month, 3 months or even 6 months down the line, there’s no development whatsoever. Till this day i cant get him to kiss me. Never shows affection. May you find the strength to love yourself enough to give yourself what you know you need and treat yourself the way that you want to be treated by others and walk away. The first step was coming clean to my boyfriend, he was mad as hell, almost kicked me out, but regrouped and gave me one more chance to get hell and clean up my act. If you do struggle with guilt, find ways to work through it. I had a 2yr affair and lived with the guilt and shame throughout the relationship,the affair was recently exposed which actually brought my husband and i closer.But for several months now i’ve been having feelings of leaving.I feel so overwhelmed with life which has caused me to reevaluate my entire married.Ive come to the realization im unhappy,unfulfilled and am eager to find myself. It’s time to take control of your life to live for you. Regardless of what we tell ourselves, some relationships are just irreparable. Best to walk away. I don’t want to be poor my whole life. Within the first year, I noticed this little digs he would make towards me like flirting with my friends in front of me, or when I would dress up he would never compliment me. Here’s how to know if you and your boyfriend should break up. I’m so sick of being miserable and alone. Now how about that. Its my first time on a website writing about my problems. If you don’t try to contact them, you’ll never know how they feel. I felt extremely guilty and tried quitting but just couldn’t. Yes, I stay. Thinking back on it I should have got out when we had a big fight or after the end of a lease but I was still ignoring my feelings at the time, just going along numb to everything. I just wanna end it up and later also in life I’ll be the one who will have to do everything from household chores to managing bills loans rents etc. That being “in love” feeling, when the other person is your focus, doesn’t last, naturally. There have been 2 incidents that I know of. The society in which we live tells us what we should and should not be accepting of as females…and I’m just sick and tired of it. Obviously, not the picture-book relationship. I am just not content and cannot see myself being happy with someone like him for the rest of my life. I don’t have any answers for you – I can’t tell you exactly how to leave the man you’ve loved for years – but I do have a few questions to help you work through the process. Not that he engaged in any of that in the 2 years being together. The latter I don’t mind except it hurts he pays $800 to his ex girlfriend for his older 2 kids but nothing to me. My dreams and plans have always come second to his. I’m not sure if I still love him though he says he loves me. He told me that both the times it was his wives fault which had led him to file for a divorce. I’ve been trying to leave but he makes me feel so guilty. I sometimes would see them in the streets ( my male friends ) and had to completely ignore them or my bf would have a fit that i was ” too nice ” to these guys? You have to focus on the bad and keep moving forward! Which path – staying in this relationship or dealing with the loss and grief of a breakup – leads to more life, possibilities, and purpose? May you find the courage and strength you need to let go of your past, and move forward into your future. Hubby keeps wanting to work on our marriage. My question is what women would ever be happy with my situation? May you see clearly what you need to do, and move forward with confidence. he just ask me to give him time. Our state doesn’t recognize those common law marriages, thank god! I dont want to leave him because of the children, but i want to because im not happy. Become vulnerable again, talk to him with your heart and slowly find your way back to him and for God sakes lay your body down with that man. I fail to leave him forever. Please let me know. My mother had known but by this time she was at peace because life was ending for her and she didn’t want to die miserable. My prayer for you is that you find peace, and that you meet the right people to help you through this. My husband is a wonderful man any women would be lucky enough to have him, he’s just a genuinely a nice guy. I have been in a relationship with my man for 12 years. I was 18 and now 42. But more than likely, things will stay the same, especially if they made promises in the past that they didn’t fulfill. I know I’m not ready to give up on our relationship – I know he loves me and I love him more than anything. I just really miss my family. Are you struggling to find the strength to leave a man you’ve loved for years? I loved him but was scared of heartbreak so i told him all this. This book will help you decide what’s a deal breaker – things you can’t live with – and what you can live with because you don’t want to leave the man you love. But it’s in conflict with what he’s saying, and that’s hard to accept. **If you believe you are in a dangerous situation, please seek help. I make good money and we can make it. I know that I am not ready to center my life around his children. He is waiting for you. I love him so much that I needed to step away so he can put all his focus and center his world around his children. May you connect with a counselor or wise person to help you determine your best options, and your reasons for leaving. I then dated someone who did nothing but lie and cheat on me. That said, however…relationships can definitely make us feel worse! I think we both know what we have to do and as hard as it sounds we have to put ourselves first. He sounds like my first husband- except he wasn’t younger. Wow, this sounds exactly what I am going through! He just distances himself and expects me to love him unconditionally. He has a great metabolism. The agreement was he would only work 3 years overseas. He does heavy lifting, outdoor stuff, and more. Hi, Gave me an ultimatum of breaking up if I leave or staying, and he would try to give me the upstairs room for space as a ‘compromise’. I struggle with that question every day of my life . Relationships that have patterns of abuse (physical or emotional ), disharmony, repeated infidelity, inappropriate sexual behavior, drug abuse, and so on, are more common than you might think. a job and try to hold us down. Right now I am not speaking to him since the last time I initiated and stopped when I saw the look on his face as if he was irritated with what I was doing. I wrote this article for you, and for everyone who wants to leave a man they’ve loved for years, but fear being alone: You’re Scared to Be Alone, But Know You Need to End Your Relationship. He has been married twice before. . He has mental health issues and i could not live like that eny more so i left. How is your relationship affecting your behavior, thoughts and emotions? True love is never abusive. You have taken such a big, important step in your life! It made me really question if I could trust him. I am an honest, reliable, devoted and loving woman who loves and adores her family with every beat of her heart – So, Why am I last on his list? If I could turn back time I’d do it in an instant. But I’m really afraid of the holidays coming up; I don’t want to be alone. They pursue you then slowly they start chipping away at your self esteem. and he even told me I make him sick and he can’t stand looking at my oxygen I don’t know what to do I feel stuck I can’t walk out I can not breath hardly to even go to the bathroom 10 feet from me I don’t know what to do I’m crushed I never thought he would ever do this to me and every time I get a little bit of money he wants half I’m so sick I don’t know any more some one please talk to me. There has been many years now that I have felt unhappy or alone and just that it isn’t right. Which is practically everything. he became furtheraway from me he stoped completly kissing me. We are going to work it out… I see how he is affected During this time, we have split up multiple times. While working through the cheating we have figured out why the cheating happened. My prayer is for wisdom and guidance. The fact that you were willing to put yourself in a situation where you could (and did) cheat, also is a strong indication that you are no longer committed to him. Its taken me years to re-cooperate and I still have nightmares. …that’s basically what he has you doing, caring for him like he is your child, because he isn’t treating you like a real man should!! I kicked him out hundreds of times, knowing how terrible he is for me. until one time, he call me while crying and said he choose me and want to be with me. I’m on the phone ringing him screaming at him cos i want him to come home. Anyway I am damaged and hurt and even though he is a different person now I know what he was and possibly could be again and I am sick to my stomach walking out with him and stuff because alot of people know what happened. He talks down to me with a tone that is so disrespectful that embarasses me when he does it in front of my friends or family. And it’s certainly not a good foundation for a marriage! We are the same in that me and my husband were married in our mid 20’s and now we are now hitting our forties. If you just make your own decisions and be the strong woman you are, then he will come around, That’s what attracted him to you in the first place right? Yes, I got married at 19 to the man I loved and love and will love forever but forgot about one “tiny ” aspect my husband doesn’t love me or our kids. I am so scared and already so hurt b/c I wanted and worked toward a lasting relationship that just isn’t panning out. for about 7-8 years). My husband will not sleep in our bed, withholds all affection, calls me idiot, stupid, pathetic. I also started detaching.. Listen to the still small voice of God – of divine wisdom and power! And truthfully, staying with a man out of guilt isn’t NOT hurting him. He was more accusing when I returned and more jealous of what I might have done. No extra activities like sports. It will be like hitting the reset button- and I’m completely terrified. He is soo lazy!!! Do something new tomorrow. However, his getting sexual pleasure from someone else (even pictures) is also cheating. Hi. He has no erectile problem. Then there’s days he treats me really good but he insist never to say I love you even during good times. I was in labor almost 24 hours and had an emergency c section which required general anesthesia. I am responsible to buy everything that is needed in our home from toiletries food anything else including repairs when they are needed in our home. Am I making the right choice in leaving? I am scared to leave him because I am financially dependent on him. But within the last year we have been through rocky problems. It didn’t matter if I was the best woman or friend in the universe; nothing would have worked. Im writing dis to seek an advice frm you.Im not sure if i hav taken a wise decision regaurding my relationship.Its been 1year dat we are in relationship.We both hav a grt bonding n luv to be together infact a gud relationship.But we Indian hav prob regaurding caste and religious diffrences. The only real way to know if you truly “can’t” live without him… is to actually TRY living (and here I mean truly LIVING, not just surviving) without him for a while and see what happens (just make sure you give it enough time to grieve the relationship, and work on doing things you enjoy, not dwelling on the past). If you were already single and had your confidence back, and he treated you this way, and you felt these doubts, would you even date him? Your husband can’t read your mind, and men are generally not as good as women at picking up on what others need, so do you think it’s fair that you’re expecting him to anticipate your needs or know what annoys you without you talking about it? He is jealous of my 8 year old son. There is a way out. Love isn’t like that. I’m remember how the words “Fear not” are said over and over in Scripture, and I pray that you hear those words as if God is speaking them to your very soul. I have been married for two years and I have a husband who lies all the time. (we have 8 indoor cats…I do most of the care) When we married, I was living in Fl. But this also gives me the ability to stretch a little further toward what I know is the right decision. This was his second marriage. Hi Maya, thank you so much for sharing your story. This really hit home with me. I’m dealing with this now. I have talked with him several times asking for compassion, compliments and the need to compromise with parenting and right after the conversation I will get text messages with a compliment but he can’t even be personal enough to do it in person. Reading your story made me have tears in my eyes. The problem is he is very close off, he’s never said that he loves me in 4 years. The crappy part about this all is I’m still terrified to leave him, even when I KNOW there is better out there for me, shoot I can be miserable and sad by myself as long as I have hope that I’ll move on and get to my happy place. but at the same time its such a hard decision. I was with men who treated me bad for many years, until I finally realized… it is MY social security, etc… that “we” are trying to live off of, and that, it is far cheaper to support 1 person than it is 2 people… I got myself an RV, (because it is cheaper to pay the bills at an RV park anymore, than it is an apartment, or a house), and I lived alone for several years, and found out that I LOOOOVED BEING SINGLE!!!!! I love my husband of 7 nearing 8 years but i am exhausted, sad & lonely. Now in now in my own places he want to. Your relationship won’t change, and unless you want to stay feeling trapped, insecure, unhappy, and unloved…you need to be the one to change. He has asked me for another baby ever since I talked about getting married and he had told me, after I give him a son. IF he decides at the end of the day not to be in you or your child’s life then that’s his loss. Do things that will force you to serve others, to see how fortunate you are, and to bring LIFE into your life. So its relieving to know that there is someone who cares ! But I want to leave I don’t love him like i did due to him ignoring me for yrs and taking everything out in me now I finally am giving up but I can’t take the final step , maybe I feel bad kicking him out when he doesn’t have anywhere to go, I understand how you feel but kicking him out will be what’s best. Maybe to someone else he would be amazing and give it his all like he used too. for instance at dinner i have to grab everyones plates and say oh oh its time to have a picnic guys lets go and lock the door behind me to get away. I have been with my partner for 16 years (half of my life) and we tick along like flatmates. You can’t control what he does. He promised he’d do this and that around the house. I was not ready back then to get married and move and start all over. I left my other boyfriend from back home for him. I know people would say run a mile but I love him and I’m really not coping. I too feel like on on the brink of a nervous breakdown.I’ve been married 13 years to a great man. I welcome your thoughts on how to leave a man you’ve loved for years, but I can’t offer personal advice or counseling. He can’t make a decision On his own. I hope I do too. Here I am and I am alot stronger than i was while i was pregnant. I put him through hell for close to 2 years, worrying him, stealing from him, I lost my job due to my addiction, so he has supported me financially ever since, but he never gave up in me and tried to get me help throughout the whole ordeal. You are both young and have lots if time. He says he lived in Fl before with me and isn’t willing to go back, to live, ANY time soon. Leave. Also we are trying to get custody of his other 3 boys who are 16 11 and 9 and all have major problems that they are trying to get thru. He cudnt help me but he let me go trusting I would cone back. Is it actually dangerous to go alone to the store or work or whatever? For the most part he is a good person, we were brought up differently with different values and beliefs.. Our biggest issue is our parenting styles. I have my own friends but I don’t opened my problems for fears of ruining rather than being helpful. Not that he is a bad person, he loves me with all of his heart and I know this, he just simply sees the world differently than I do. I love him, but I’m not “in love” with him. Can you make plans for the weekend with someone else you won’t cancel on (a new friend, if necessary, or volunteer where you’re needed, or maybe ask for overtime at work, etc.)? I’ve been with my husband for 15 years. Don’t let negative emotions such as fear of what people will think, fear of criticism, or guilt and shame keep you trapped in a bad relationship. I am pretty good at “knowing” and finding out what he is up to. He took courses and programs whatever all and he is a much better person. Tonight I told my husband I feel so unhappy I want to kill myself. I’m gay, & in a monogamous relationship. You are not being selfish or unloving or unreasonable or overreacting by leaving him. Because I was moving constantly because of his job I never had the chance to have friends and he was the only person I could count on.I don’t know if I will ever be able to forgive the fact that he didn’t want to face what he was feeling knowing that I would have effect my life soo much. LEAVE HIM! May you connect with God, who loves you more than anything. Going out with his friends while I was getting ready to go to sleep so I could go to work the next day. I was living with my husband parents, financial issues, in the process of buying a house and I was shown no love, affection or attention by my husband. I have been married for 18 years, with my “husband” 23 years. Do what you must to survive, but make a plan and do quietly get out of there. When he was living here it was like I wanted him to go as he was always moody and would never talk to me. Also, I recently learned that women respond to love in different ways than men, which makes it even more difficult to find the strength to leave a man you’ve loved forever. If he really doesn’t mean it, wouldn’t ever really pull a gun on you, and if there’s no reason to fear what he says… then there’s also NO REASON for him to make such a meaningless threat and, at BEST, he’s lying to control you! I wanted him to be part of this common project of making our house our home. To me it means a lot. Most of us want to give love in return. Sometimes you can be painfully aware of all the signs he… Read More »6 Reasons You Get Stuck in Unhealthy Relationships. She brought such a wonderful cake for me on my birthday when everyone had left because she was my only true friend and I always saw her as one. /* Add your own Mailchimp form style overrides in your site stylesheet or in this style block. I believe there is no hope left for my relationship. He’s borderline male chauvinist and that’s being nice. He wants to work on our marriage now, but I feel like it’s too late. I’ve been with the same man for nearly 8 years, I took his virginity almost a year into our relationship. He has boys who treat me exactly how he does and when I try to correct the boys they yell and scream and in the end don’t listen to me. I have been with my boyfriend for six years. I just really needed to feel someone hold me so i just wouldn’t feel so alone. Her heart kept her with him and I guess his heart kept him there but he didn’t respect her or honor her enough to marry her. Take time to think about these questions – and even write down your thoughts. He says he loves me more than anything, always denies the cheating, except the one incident I caught him in. My family learned to accept the situation years ago and for the most part I can too, I guess I manipulate myself into thinking the Lord will bless me someday for all of the sacrifices I have made over the years to provide for my family. If your husband wants to leave you, and you still love him, you must do whatever you can to make him fall back in love with you again. My youngest will be 17 soon and when he move put of the house I’m afraid what will happen. We are different religions and have opposing life goals. Once we remove our safety net I bet you they’ll survive. I just need to find to strength to leave but its so hard. i have made huge break thrus with them and have gotten to a point of normalcy and routine but as soon as their father gets home from work it turns into him screaming and his 11 year old boy beating me up and his 11 year old boy is bigger than me so he does alot of damage when he attacks me. In fact — I’d say a woman’s love is more or less NEVER enough. May you take time to connect with God, solidify your faith, and follow your heart and soul. I thought I was the freak. I four d my husband has been looking at escorts on craigslist, making stupid inapropriate coments to slutty girls on Facebook and some other things of a similar nature. Taking back control begins with you. We live in different countries and meet possibly once or twice in a year. So the things you do in order to cultivate the relationship with yourself, such as breaking up with a partner, is nothing against them. I guarantee that their relationship is not how she’s having you view it. Sugar, please, please please, love yourself enough to not be afraid to leave him!! again for 9 years. Im tired of the compromise. When I think of the life I could live, I get so excited. Everyone says I should leave I could do better but I know that’s wrong to think that way. She’s just a bit frustrated right now with her situation. He can be very ignorant/degrading and there have been times where I don’t feel proud to be with him, especially in front of friends and family. What would you tell a friend in your shoes? Get some better friends, girl!) Thank you to the writer for reminding me of things I need to focus on to continue my journey to happiness. Below are my questions and ideas for women who are considering leaving their husbands, plus more of Shannon’s story…, “My husband and I took vacations at different times during the year,” she says, “because I planned mine around the kids’ schedule and he did not. Hmmm…..you have no close friends, and several counsellors have not been able to help you leave this man you love, but can’t live with. . Please help. He doesn’t acknowledge me when I get home. I am the bread winner but for some odd reason I am scared to leave?? Breadwinner. I am a good person i work in community circles, have done mwntal health first aid training and am often exhausted emotionally after work , one of my kids is adhd & suffer anxiety, oldest is having health issues that is stressful, youngest is angry like dad. I just want out. that I worry about keeping. Your own “wise self” is within you, and from your post it sounds like you know what you need — time, working on your education, trusted friends from the church you’ve been attending. Read about it. Kiss him often and longer. Then after 6years i found him on fb saw his wife and kids pics and was very happy that he is settled. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. For me, it was baking. Don’t say yes to a proposal, or “I do” at a wedding, just to leave because of the POSSIBILITY of a better thing. I know it doesn’t feel like it to you, but trust me you are better off splitting. He told everyone that. I’m so unhappy I dnt know what to do please help, I got married at 19, stayed married for almost 9. If you choose or feel you can forgive him for every wrong hes done to you then try to forget. Your mind attempts to play tricks on you, making you believe that happiness isn’t possible any longer. Wait, why can’t you go out anywhere by yourself? I stayed. He is keeping me here when all I want to do is be with my family and see my nephew grow. There must be something sick about him, that he pretends when you tell him to pretend, that he’s loyal to you, that he laughs at your jokes, that he tolerates your bad dogs. He is a very good father to my children. You need to build bridges to the outside world, so you can be strong enough to leave your marriage if that’s the best option. The tears no longer fall. , I only have 33 percent of my lungs left I am on oxygen #4 for the rest of my life since I got sick my husband was wonderful for about the first 3 months then after that decided to get a Facebook and do nothing all day but Skype woman in the Philippines he has another one now that they act like they are madley in love and they honestly think they are going to be together.

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